Mindful Girl

Check It Out

2010-01-31T17:24:00.001-08:00

Mindful Girl has a new home.

Lifecycle

2010-01-18T05:29:00.001-08:00

I feel pretty lucky that I have solid memories of all four of my grandparents. Both sets lived within 15 minutes of me during my childhood and were actively involved in my family life. My brother and I often had sleepovers at both their homes. The Love Boat, Fantasy Island and french toast at Bubbi and Pop Pop's house; Salami with Eggs and storybook records at Nini and BigDaddy's.

I first experienced death at 13 when my Nini died from cancer. It was also the first time I remember seeing my dad cry. A little over a decade later, my dad's dad, my Big Daddy, succumbed to Parkinson's related symptoms right before the birth of my first child. But, amazingly enough, I was fortunate enough to enjoy the love and affection of my two remaining grandparents well into my adulthood. Sadly, though, my Pop Pop passed away this weekend. Somewhat suddenly, I suppose, but not so when you consider he was in his 80s, diabetic, with a heart condition.

Oh, how extraordinarily lucky I feel, though, to have been able to speak with my Pop Pop on Saturday about 1 hour before he suffered a massive stroke. Whether it was fate or circumstances I'll never know, but to be able to have an engaging conversation with him and to be able to tell him I loved him right before he died seems to me the happiest way for anyone to lose a loved one.

The conversation itself was actually a bit out of the ordinary. Rather than the usual "How do you feel? How's the weather in Florida?" I decided to try something new with them. (I say "them" because like Jerry Seinfeld's parents, my grandparents could never be on the phone alone without the other. Bubbi would answer and shout "Manny, it's Jennifer. Pick up the phone" Or he would and shout, "Marion, pick up, it's Jennifer." They're two of only three people in this world who call me Jennifer. The other being my mother.)

Like most elderly men and women living down in Florida, my grandmother suffers from arthritis. Between the two of them, my grandparents must be on like 99 different medications. Coumadin, insulin, N-saids, benzodiazepines, beta-blockers, you name it.

I asked my grandparents if they eat salmon. "Sure," they said. "Well," I explained, "Fish oils are a natural anti-inflammatory. Eating more salmon may help reduce the inflammation from the arthritis. In fact, you can even buy fish oil in a pill form like a vitamin."

Pops was thrilled at this idea. "We take so many pills anyway, what's one more," he said. He was going to rush out the next day and ask the pharmacist all about fish oil and Omega-3s.

I was really excited and proud when I got off the phone. That I could speak my message of holistic health so clearly to my grandfather. It's funny, and eye-opening to me, because he might have been the last person I would have expected to listen.

When I think of my Pops in the mind of my inner child, I remember a tall, gruff guy with a short temper. But as much as I remember him hollering, I also remember him laughing...and not just quiet laughter, but big belly laughs. Hooting almost.

My Pops wasn't the most expressive man, but always would rush to hold me or hug me when I walked through his door. He was always ecstatic to see me or hear my voice on the phone.

I wouldn't call him contemplative, yet when you asked him to tell you stories of the war or of his Depression-era youth, he got a wistful look in his eyes and conjured up details and descriptions you'd never expect.

On the outside, he appeared serious and shy, but was actually a fun-loving, shuffleboard-playing, choir-singing, outgoing-in-his-own way sorta fellow. A dichotomy, I see now, which was not lost on me.

My grandfather was the baby, the last remaining child of his parents. He was a loving and attentive parent, particularly in these last years of his life, to my mother and her brother. He loved 6 grandchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren. He'd laugh out loud to hear me say it, but he was a mensch. And a mindful one at that.

Manifesting What I Desire

2010-01-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

So today I had one of those mornings where I hug myself and say "thank you for choosing this path." I started my day off awake before my children, which for some reason, always helps me begin my day a bit more balanced.

Yesterday, I set an intention (thanks to the guidance of Jennifer Urezzio at Know Soul's Language) to set aside 15 minutes for meditation as part of my self-care regimen. I completely forgot to make room for this today and yet the Universe still delivered! Awake 15 minutes before the baby, I made time to breathe, properly awaken and set some goals.

What this allowed for me was the opportunity to laugh and play with my kids over breakfast; and to embrace my husband with love and care before he departed for a business trip. Does this sound easy to you? Not so for me, normally. Mornings in my house are vicious.

My work day began with a coaching call with a client who is making a profound difference in her own community. I am so lucky that I get to be both an observer and a participant in her growth process. Brainstorming together new ideas for her business and ways for her to communicate her message to the world, I hesitate to say publicly, does not feel like work, it's fun!

My next stop was to Mia Cose Bella in South Orange, NJ: A unique gift shop whose offerings include hand blown glass, handmade pottery and jewelry from local artists and artisans. Mia Cose Bella hosted a Space Clearing workshop by Maia Gilman, who also was launching her new line of room sprays.

I looked around the room, filled with men and women from my community, many of them healers and many inspiring contributors to the towns in which they live. Remember that hug I mentioned? Walking into this room was like walking into one big, warm hug.

I shared a version of this sentiment with Rita Desnoyers-Garcia, who is well-versed in manifesting the life you desire, because this is what she does day in and day out, for herself and for others as a coach. The conversation was a gentle reminder of another intention I commited to, but had not yet fulfilled, which was to broadcast my desires to the universe. Ask and you shall receive. More on that below.

To top it all off, I enjoyed lunch with fellow health and wellness afficionado, Judie Hurtado, who speaks my language and shares my love of manifesting.

So, Universe, here goes:

I AM ATTRACTING:
Love
Light
Ease
Expansion

I AM ATTRACTING PEOPLE WHO:
Want to hear my message
Bring beauty into my life
Move me forward
Provide me with possibility and great opportunity
Support me in my mission to exact change

I AM ATTRACTING LOTS AND LOTS OF MASSAGE.

What Makes You A Leader

2010-01-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

Remember back in high school, there were leaders and there were followers. In my high school and probably in yours, the lines could get a little blurred. Was to be a leader to be popular? If you were the leader of the unpopular kids, were you still a leader? What if you were unpopular, but still managed to get a lot of action, then were you a leader? Or popular? Or neither? Or both?

Shows on the CW would lead one to believe that life as a leader is not always easy. This is probably as true for real-life leaders as it is for fictional, yet fashionable prep school girls. Being a leader often puts you to the test.

I'm very shy when people refer to me as a leader. Really? What am I the leader of? I don't want to insult the 3 or 4 people who actually read this blog, but really. Am I the leader of a cult of organic food eaters? Am I preaching to a society of obsessive compulsive mothers of young children? What difference am I truly making in the world?

And, the scary part, if what I say or write actually does make an impact on someone else's life, what responsibility do I have in making sure I'm mindful with my messaging? Leaders can't let a bad day or a belly ache or period cramps get in the way of their mission. Depending on her visibility, a leader might be accountable for her actions and her words all the time, every day. Think about how important self-care is for that individual.

I got to thinking about leaders this week after a less than stellar meeting with my son's principal. I requested the meeting to learn more about a particular school policy and to offer my input as a community educator. Let me tell you, it's no less nerve-wracking waiting in the principal's office now when I'm 35 than it was when I was 15 (Ok, truth be told, I never went to the principal's office. I was a good girl).

But I managed to remain graceful and mindful of my purpose. Which was particularly challenging considering the principal was far from receptive to my queries, and busy multi-tasking during the meeting. I felt so disempowered by this 30 minute meeting that I had a lump in my throat the rest of the day. How can I make a difference in my community when I can't even get a school principal to treat my request with enough respect to put down her paperwork for 30 minutes and look me in the eye? To truly listen to me? To make me feel as if my input matters?

Isn't my child just one member of a community she's supposed to be leading? And aren't I a member of that community by proxy? I appreciate the audience but the answers to my questions were already scripted before I even walked in the door.

Now, it's possible the principal was having a bad day or a belly ache. And I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. We'll see. I still have to calm down and process the experience.

But, at the very least, it was a gentle reminder to me of the responsibility I face if I truly want to be a transformational leader in even the smallest of communities. Many of us are accidental leaders. But this doesn't remove the accountability we face, part of which is understanding the slightest impact we may have on our community. Choosing a smile over a frown. Answering an email today as opposed to next week. Or looking someone in the eye when they speak to you. Honor yourself and your community. Make a difference.

Where My Loyalties Lie

2010-01-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

A few years back, Lisa Duggan of The MotherHood magazine gave me my dream assignment. I was instructed to try out three local massage therapists, compare their techniques, and compose an article on why local moms may be interested to sample their services.

First of all, getting three massages in one month completely spoiled me for the rest of my life. But this also was when I realized that different practitioners could offer me different forms of relief. (For more details on the differences between Sue Rexford, Diane Rose, and Nate Cimmino, you may read the original article here.) The problem that presented itself, however, is that I started to feel a little slutty. This was unrelated to any massage technique; nothing shady was happening between the sheets. But, I couldn't really commit to any one massage therapist. They all had different strong suits!

Since then, friends, colleagues, and neighbors have often asked me, "So who do you see for a good massage?" I've finally found a way to answer their questions without feeling like I'm cheating on a lover. My response might go something like this, "Go to Sue if you need to really relax; See Amy if you need some neck work done; Diane can tell you what's a little off in your system; Debra has really strong hands; Lynda uses hot stones;" and so on... Knowing so many sets of healing hands (attached to people I'm so fond of) makes me a really lucky girl. My word isn't gospel, though. And many other local maasage afficionados may disagree with my designations. I'd invite you to please try them all out for yourselves and figure out where your loyalties lie.

Trust me. If I was made of money, or if the United States decided to cover "alternative" therapies the way other countries do (Canada!), I'd be seeing all of my friends with healing hands on a very regular basis. In fact, the biggest incentive for starting, owning and managing my dream holistic wellness center is the thought of having a cadre of bodyworkers at my ready. Alas, for now, I will have to settle for a little lovin' now and again.

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

2009-12-26T15:51:00.001-08:00

I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?" --Harry, from "When Harry Met Sally"

A few months ago, I had dinner with my old friend, Suzanne. She recently found the high school graduation gift I gave her: A copy of Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go." The back of the book was inscribed with a nostalgic farewell message from me -- a memento of sorts to send her off to the great unknown...college.

Who knew that almost 20 years later we'd be sitting in a Thai restaurant in Montclair reminiscing, comparing our husbands and our kids, and dishing about old classmates? Along the journey, from Beck Middle School until now, our paths have crossed and then uncrossed and then crossed again. How did it come to be that Suzanne and I are still friends, still in touch and sharing our lives with each other when so many others have flitted in and out? We are very different women than we were girls. There were challenges we met over the years (distance, disagreements, etc.) that could have meant the end of our friendship, but somehow didn't. What has kept it alive?

What is the formula for enduring friendship?

Who knows? I surely don't. I know I'm lucky to have a handful of solid, long-standing friendships. I also know that I place a lot of value on true, constant, and loyal companions. And that I struggle with my emotions for quite some time when I feel betrayed, dismissed, or burned.

I've also been known to get hung up over unfinished business. Relationships that ended too soon or on a sour note. I often feel uncomfortable when I run into old acquaintances in the grocery store. How long of a conversation is long enough? 2 minutes? 5 minutes? Then, how do we sign off? "Nice to see you." (Too phony.) "Take care." (Too smug.) "It was nice running into you." (Too awkward!!!)

It's certain that I focus way too much energy on why or how a relationship met its demise, and not enough on the takeaways. For instance, what impact did that classmate or colleague make on my life? If just for a month, a year, a moment? Who did I become as part of that couple? Who am I now? What lessons did I learn from loving that friend? From hurting her? From helping her?

I know I might meet debate on this, but I truly believe that every person I've met in my life has impacted and shaped me. Some more than others, of course. But, some in the most unexpected and significant ways.

It's with this in mind that I'm going to take on an interesting experiment in the New Year.

The next time I go to the grocery store, I'm going to wear a different hat. Not literally, but figuratively. Instead of that awkward, what-does-she-think-of-me-now hat I wear when I run into old acquaintances, I'm going to wear the I'm-grateful-for-having-known-you-whomever-you-are hat.

And that new hat's going with me when I drop off my son at school, when I go to the gym, get coffee at Starbucks, and even when I'm trolling Facebook. I might not say it out loud, but when I see you and smile, I'll be thinking, "Thank you." I bet you'll be able to tell.

And to my old acquaintances: Though we're separated by years or by distance, by disagreements or by disillusion, I thank you for your contribution to the making of me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm truly grateful.

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
on Old long syne.

The Wellness Revolution: The U.S. Military Uses Reiki

2009-12-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

I had a lovely meeting with my friend Maia Gilman this week and got to chatting about Reiki, seeing as she is offering a Level 1 Reiki class next weekend in South Orange. Last year, Maia came to my home to do space clearing work and also introduced me to the world of dowsing.

The more I learn about Reiki, particularly after my own Level 1 class with Amy Witmyer of Sacred Space Yoga & Wellness, the more I understand what a benign, beneficial, and relatively accessible modality it really is. I'm often envious of the practitioners I work with, who have such a wealth of knowledge and tools at their disposable. The great thing about Reiki is that while it does involve training, understanding, and practice, it's not a healing modality that requires years and years of formal education before you can practice it on yourself or your family.

Most Reiki Masters suggest that once you've completed an in-depth Level 1 Reiki course, which includes an "attunement," you are prepared to practice Reiki as self-healing or on your immediate family members. Pretty cool. I've been using Reiki to help fall back to sleep at night when woken up at 2 am by one of my sleepless children. I've also used it to calm my boys down before bed. Or help my husband relax after a stressful day at work (on a G-rated evening.)

Here's how potentially beneficial Reiki is. The U.S. military uses Reiki to help soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. According to a USA Today article published last year, the Pentagon has been seeking new ways to treat troops suffering from combat stress or brain damage by researching such alternative methods as acupuncture, meditation, yoga, as well as Reiki. Suicides and violent behavior are at a high among soldiers both those in combat and those who've returned home.

It would seem that traditional therapies are not working. Wired.com reports that the Army last year unveiled a $4 million program to "investigate everything from 'spiritual ministry, transcendental meditation, [and] yoga' to 'bioenergies such as Qi gong, Reiki, [and] distance healing' to mend the psyches of wounded troops."

This is evidence of the Wellness Revolution that makes me smile wide.

If you've seen Men Who Stare At Goats, you probably won't be too surprised by the above news. But I'd like to think that if these modalities are being embraced by the U.S. military, which carries with it a stereotyped reputation of strict formality and convention, then mainstream America might soon follow suit.

Forward, march!

The Wellness Revolution: As If!

2009-11-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

It's highly likely that Canada Dry Ginger Ale, when it was first produced for mass consumption, contained a measurable amount of "real" ginger.

But highly doubtful that the latest incarnation of the soft drink, which is being marketed as of late as ginger ale with "Real Ginger!" has little more than a pinch of processed ginger powder as one of the many proprietary ingredients listed on the label as "Natural Flavor."

The fact that the company is spending thousands of advertising dollars on promoting this high fructose syrup-laden SODA as a ginger beverage, though, indicates once again that we are in The Wellness Revolution. In addition to commercials on both TV and radio, there's a huge billboard on Rte. 280W in New Jersey.

While ginger, in its true form, is known for its healing properties (from decreasing nausea to reducing inflammation), you may not count on Canada Dry Ginger Ale to do the same. Sorry. It's yummy. It's my soda of choice on the very rare occasion when I choose soda as a beverage. But it's sugary, processed crap. There is nothing healthy about it. End of story.

Mindful Parenting Workshop On Tap Tonight

2009-11-18T05:39:00.001-08:00

I'm heading out to the Mindful Parenting Workshop with Dr. Rob Handelman tonight at 7:45 pm (Shakti Yoga and Living Arts in Maplewood.)

Why am I going AGAIN to this workshop? Well, #1, I'm a sponsor. And #2, do you think mindful parenting comes easy? That there is a magic bullet and you will suddenly approach your child's tantrums and saucy lip with ease? Sorry. Not the case.

Life is a constant refresher course.

Hope you join me. If so, wear comfy pants. We'll be sitting yoga style and doing some deep breathing to start.

Get Over It

2009-11-13T11:00:00.001-08:00

There's a topic I've been ranting about to friends lately. It has to do with that word "holistic" again.

There is an interesting anthropological study I have been privy to because of my work: It has to do with the experience of receiving another person's reaction to something new. Depending on where I am at the time (at Thanksgiving dinner with my family, for instance vs. preschool drop off or a Holistic Moms Network list serv), I will get varying reactions, facial expressions, or acknowledgments about the topic at hand, whether it be an alternative therapy, a newly published article on the benefits of cinnamon oil, or vaginal birth after Cesarean. Some people are excited to learn more; others are wary, but interested; and still others are turned off and tuned off from the get-go.

What I've been ranting about lately has to do with, first, how silly it is to be afraid of the word "holistic." Here's the simple truth, which I've written about before: Holistic means nothing more than paying attention to your needs and doing what is best for you! ("You" also may be the Familial You or the Global You--Who you are in your family or who you are in the world.)

The next part of my rant involves holistic health advocates or practitioners who suggest that there is any ONE way to feel healthier; or that an individual may be healed simply by following ONE particular diet or exercise plan. If you truly believe this, you have lost your way.

This is one of the scary outcomes of the slow move toward commercializing holistic health and wellness. Mainstreaming all these wonderfully, beneficial techniques and modalities is one of my biggest professional and personal goals. However, I'm worried about what is going to get lost in translation.

Here's a for instance. I'm reading this publication I purchased at Whole Foods Market a few weeks ago called "Dr. Andrew Weil's Guide to Healthy Eating." I am in awe of Dr. Weil and also a big fan of Martha Stewart's body+soul omnimedia, which produced this supplemental magazine, so I bought it. The focus of the issue is "A New Take On Nutrition," and I'm reading the articles and patting myself on the back. Why? Because I'm already doing most of the stuff they're writing about. So, I feel accomplished. And smart. And evolved.

Except for this. I still don't feel 100% well. And depending on what time of the month it is, I don't know if I even come close. Yet, a lot of the messaging in this magazine, whether it's overt or subconscious is: Change "this" and you will feel better. It's a very Western approach to something that was born from very Eastern thinking.

I'm eating a pretty damn good diet right now compared to the average American. Dr. Weil would be proud. It's pretty low on meat (and when I do eat meat it's organic). I enjoy a high fiber diet filled with organic beans and seeds, locally grown organic produce, green leafy veggies, foods rich in Omega-3, and very low on processed foods. I'm practically the poster child for his new anti-inflammatory food pyramid. Yet, I still feel "inflamed." Much better than I used to, mind you, but I've not yet reached what I consider optimum wellness.

What I'm getting at and what's central to my rant is that we need to stay focused. As practitioners, as educators, as proponents and advocates of holistic living, we need to remember what's primary. Each man, woman, and child is a unique being with a unique imprint, footprint, whatever. Some of us grew up on farms eating pesticide-laden food our entire youth; others of us played in the shadow of large urban areas sucking in polluted air. There are those like me who come from ethnicities, which dare I say, have weak constitutions. And there are others, whom I envy, born of a much heartier stock.

We all have different wellness needs. Holistic is not about choosing an "alternative" practitioner or trying a "unconventional" therapy, it's about finding your path to optimum health. Yes, there are tried and true methods of reaching that goal, but customization is not just important, it is essential.

My third and final rant relates to an article released by the Associated Press this week, "Experts: Placebo Power Behind Many Natural Cures."

Some questions came up for me as I read and re-read this piece:
1. Who are these "experts" and why do they know best?
2. The article starts off with an Editor's Note: "Ten years and $2.5 billion in research have found no cures from alternative medicine. Yet these mostly unproven treatments are now mainstream and used by more than a third of all Americans." $2.5 billion in research? Whose research? Whose $2.5 billion? And how does that $2.5 billion compare to research dollars for pharmaceuticals?
3. MARILYNN MARCHIONE, AP Medical Writer, is so clearly and blatantly biased in this article, it's really irresponsible to be calling this a news piece and not an op-ed. Who edited this piece and what's the story behind the writer's and/or editor's fear and resistance? She clearly mocks Reiki and the practitioner mentioned in the story here:

"In Baltimore, the University of Maryland Medical Center's shock trauma center is offering some patients Reiki therapy, which claims to heal through invisible energy fields manipulated by a special "master." The hospital's anesthesia chief, Dr. Richard Dutton, says it is self-hypnosis and compares it to Lamaze classes that teach pregnant women breathing exercises to take their minds off the pain of labor. "

And fails to back up accusatory statements with fact, such as her reference to "many alternative medicine studies":

"Swear-by-it stories and anecdotal reports of benefit are one thing. Proving a treatment helps is quite another. Many alternative medicine studies have not included a placebo group — people who unknowingly get a dummy treatment so its effect can be compared."

As a former newspaper reporter and editor, I find this type of "reporting" really irresponsible and, at a very base level, it's just plain mean.

Our goal in the "holistic" community is not to vilify doctors or to belittle conventional medicine; our goal is to create an atmosphere of openness, of safety, and to foster a willingness to try something new. Particularly for groups of people who are not being served by conventional medicine. And, according to Ms. Marchione, that's more than 1/3 of all Americans. I don't know what you think, but that's a pretty impressive number. Are we all just "victims" to the placebo effect? Or are we the harbingers of change?

Purpose of the Journey

2009-11-07T11:01:00.001-08:00

Every once in a while I really miss Tucson.

Background: My husband and I have this crazy wedding story. After a whirlwind romance, we got engaged fairly quickly and married about a year later. I had already had it up to my eyeballs with living in Manhattan. For as much as I loved the energy and the convenience of living in The City, I also was very aware that living in this atmosphere was contributing to my mounting anxiety. Nutballs were pushing people onto subway tracks or whacking them over the head with bricks; Mean, dirty people would hock mucus onto my feet; More often than not, I felt overcome by fear. I knew I needed to get out.

So I convinced my husband to move with me. We settled on Tucson mostly because it offered us peace of mind, freedom of spirit, and a general atmosphere of compassion that Manhattan lacked. (Plus, it's where "Can't Buy Me Love" was filmed. Another big selling point.)

We got married on September 9, 2001. We were scheduled to leave for Tucson on September 11 by way of a roadtrip honeymoon across the country.

We didn't leave that day. But we did head out, despite some reservations, on September 12. And, thus spent one of the most tumultous times in modern American history on the road, travelling cross country through strange cities (many in the Bible Belt), as we and everyone around us tried to cope with the aftermath of 9/11.

But that's a story for another time.

We settled in Tucson and from the get-go, the city lived up to our expectations and then some. There was definitely an adjustment for us as we got used to people being "nice." Neighbors went out of their way to make us feel at home and welcome. Our new co-workers quickly treated us like family. And before long, we learned to expect the enthusiastic greetings from strangers, the slow pace at the bagel store, and the buzz of happy energy around us.

In addition to becoming a home away from home for me, Tucson also was the land of discovery. A metamorphosis of sorts took place for me.

There, I first learned about midwifery; about integrative pediatrics; about chiropractic and NAET. Tucson was where I first figured out the difference between Organic and Conventional; where I really started to understand the value of conservation, particularly as it related to water. For me, Tucson was my University of Conscious Living. And living there opened up a whole new world for me.

Leaving this mecca for holistic lifestyle (and our friends) was not easy. But we decided to move back East to be near our extended family, as our little family began to grow. I was worried that moving back would be moving backwards. That our return to the fast-paced life that comes with settling down in the NYC suburbs would turn us toxic and cold, and not just from a temperature perspective.

But I was wrong. And what a pleasant surprise.

On the whole, it's true, people are not as friendly or as warm here in NJ (sorry!) as they are in Tucson. To be specific, NJ folks tend to want/need/expect more from me faster/now/yesterday and are not as nice/compassionate/kind in how they express this. But, a community of conscious living is actually strong and vibrant and loud here.

There are, of course, towns in which this community is more vocal and apparent.

Towns like:

Princeton, home of The Whole Earth Center
Montclair, where Bloomfied Ave. bustles with acupuncturists, organic spas, and healthy living centers
South Orange/Maplewood: Home to multiple yoga studios
Ridgewood: Home of the organic pizzeria
Red Bank with its mecca of New Age healers
West Milford, which has their own "sustainable" web site and annual Green Day Fair

There is still a lot of work to be done in terms of making NJ residents aware that these options for holistic living exist here, and engaging holistic businesses in the practice of making themselves more accessible to the average person. But I do believe this is part of the task at hand for us at Mindful Living NJ.

And, perhaps, if you are the type of person who believes in fate or synchronicity or purpose (which I am), then perhaps you might consider my move back to Jersey a subconscious, conscious decision. Peraps I was drawn back to NJ to share the wealth. Tucson opened up so much for me and for that I am forever grateful. I'd love to think that through Mindful Living NJ, I'm able to pay that forward.

Wired to Explode

2009-10-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

One of the best decisions I've made as a parent was to allow my then 4-year-old son to hold me accountable for yelling. I came home one day after a seminar, during which I decided that I hated myself when I shouted at my kids, and I told him that any time I raised my voice, he was able to tell me straight to my face, "mommy, we are not a yelling house."

This kid was giddy with glee at the prospect of telling me off. I'm happy to say that the opportunites for him to do so have been much fewer and far between than they were before I decided to hold myself accountable for how I approached parenting my young kids. Am I now a perfectly zen, at-peace parent? No way. Far from it. But I'm aware and in action.

After having three kids, I'm quite confident I now believe in "natural disposition." We're born with a particular set of operating instructions. Some of us require few instructions; and some of us need to be handled with extreme care.

I was born wired to explode. I've never liked being backed into a corner or told what to do. Sucked for me that no one told me before I had kids that I'd be backed into a corner or told what to do at least once a day...by someone a foot smaller and 30 years younger than me. To make matters worse, no one gave me the operating guides for these children. I had to figure them out all on my own, while trying to locate the "cool down" button on my own machinery.

My husband and I made a firm, conscious decision never to raise a hand at our children; but we never had a conversation before they were born what we might use to discipline them instead. What were safe words? What was an acceptable tone? More important, how would we as parents handle our emotions in the midst of conflict with our kids? If you are or have ever been a parent you know what I mean. You can love and adore these children and sometimes they make you want to scratch your own eyeballs out, scratch their eyeballs out, scream at the top of your lungs, or curl up into a ball and cry.

If you read this blog even every once in a while, you know that I am a work in constant progress. A mindful life, for me, includes mindful parenting. Mindful parenting, to me, does not mean being overindulgent or weak; it also does not mean being domineering or mean. As I try to integrate tools for bringing peace and calm into my life, I am also committed to creating a more harmonious household. To give the gifts of peace and calm to my children.

This is a tall order for me.

Fortunately, I'll have the opportunity this evening to discuss this challenge in a setting with other moms at "Time Out for Parents: A Mindfulness-Based Workshop" with Dr. Rob Handelman. Dr. Handelman is a psychotherapist who practices a brand of cognitive behavior therapy called ACT (which stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). The workshop is geared towards parents looking for guidance with parenting hurdles, particularly the types of emotions we don't feel comfortable with -- anger, frustration, and impatience. You can read more about the workshop in this article by Judie Hurtado at Maplewood Patch.

I have a feeling that after you read the description, you're going to want to come. Unfortunately, tonight's event is full. Fortunately, there are enough other interested parents that another one is scheduled for December. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and sign yourself up for some mindful parenting work.

It's the Breast Cancer, Stupid

2009-10-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

For the first time, I'm really aware this Breast Cancer Awareness month.

Last week, I lost my dear childhood friend Jodie to breast cancer. Jodie, who is only two days younger than I am. Who, in my mind, is 16 and wearing Hot Dogger jump suits. Who was my first friend with a New Yawk accent. Who taught me Gibberish. Who drew muppets on my boxer shorts. Who slept in the bunk bed under me for three summers in a row. Who showered with her bathing suit on. Who liked Jordan (but joked years later that it was really our counselor Jean that she had a crush on.)

Jodie, who for me, still represents youth, laughter, and mischief. Jodie's dead. From breast cancer.

And so, breast cancer has now become personal for me.

It should have been personal already. My grandmother, now 84, had "a bout" of breast cancer. (Is that what you call it when you actually live?) She got it post-menopausal (at 61), which my mom says is "the better kind of breast cancer," and was able to beat it with a lumpectomy, radiation, and six months of chemo. I was 12 when this happened and I have absolutely no recollection of it happening. None. Perhaps my parent shielded it from me because my other grandmother was dying from stomach cancer at the same time. Or maybe my mom didn't want to consider the potential consequences since she was a few months shy of giving birth to my little brother. I don't know why. But it's never really fully registered for me that I have a family history of breast cancer.

Of course, now there's Jodie. And now I'm at the age where I need to start upping the ante. I need to really understand my risks and what I can do to make sure I'm doing what I can to keep breast cancer at bay.

The first step for me is education. I'm embarassed to say I know too little about genetic testing for this disease. I've spent the past few years focused on baby making and raising allergic kids. I'd like to think I do a decent job with my own self-care, but this is one area I've quietly let slip by.

So, step # 1. Information.

On Tuesday, Oct. 20, at The Rocking Chair Women's Wellness Center in Englewood, there will be a FREE seminar on "Understanding Your Risks For Breast Cancer and How to Be Proactive About Them." The seminar, which begins at 7:30 pm will feature talks by a genetic counselor, a naturopath, and a reproductive psychiatrist, all of whom will address what types of actions we can take now in the hopes of avoiding a death sentence later. The Rocking Chair, in an effort to be a one stop health center for women, also offers genetic testing (the lab work) and genetic counseling (explaning the lab work and offering compassionate advice). The center also offers a variety of holistic health options such as naturopathic medicine, psychiatric care, and acupuncture.

Hope to see you there.

And for Jodie...this song, in the immortal words of Kenny Rogers, is dedicated to you:

"Good friend, why did you have to go?
Just when I was getting to know you
I´ll sing this song to show
You were a good friend
They don´t make ´em quite like you
And in my memory
You´ll always be a good good friend to me. "

Non-news about asthma meds; Good news about yoga

2009-10-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

For years, I've struggled with what I think is a gross negligence on the part of many physicians for over prescribing asthma medication and not warning patients of possible side effects. Particularly pediatricians who should be referring patients out to specialists first.

For our family, these side effects include, but are not limited to crankiness, mood swings, nightmares, night sweats, hyperactivity, sleeplessness, heart racing and anxiety. To prescribe medicines like albuterol or pulmicort to parents and not warn them that their child might be up until 3 am or that he might literally bounce off the walls following a nebulizer treatment should be classified as torture.

A few years back I decided on my own to go against the allergist's suggestion of keeping my son on a "preventative" daily regimen of nebulizer treatments throughout the winter season. According to the package enclosure, one particular medication was known to increase viral and upper respiratory infections. My son, who only suffers from cold-induced asthma, came down with more upper respiratory infections (and subsequent asthma) that one winter season he was on the preventative regimen than any other year before. That truly seemed counter-productive to me.

Around the same time, an allergist recommended a daily corticosteroid to me for my asthma. After scaring me with reports of minimal breathing function, I reluctantly started the meds. Three sleepless nights later, I stopped cold turkey.

So, yesterday when I read this report:

Inhalers may raise risk of asthma in some children

I was not really surprised. The questions is...will this study impact the way doctors prescribe these meds? And who will get this information into the hands of the people who may not know better?

I'm so happy to share with you that I've actually seen incredible results in regards to my asthma with a regular regimen of chiropractic adjusments fro Dr. Andrew Halperin in Maplewood, and even more so with a regular yoga practice.

For the past few weeks, during my Tuesday yoga practice at Sacred Space Yoga and Wellness, I've requested chest openers in an effort to increase my breathing capacity. Each week, I leave the studio breathing deeper and more easily than when I came. It's incredible. Thank you to Amy Witmyer for her dedicated work towards making me feel better. I've always known there were multiple health benefits to a regular yoga practice, but it's become so apparent to me that an intentional practice, focused on better breathing for asthma sufferers, can lead to a direct, measureable result.

Spreading this message to the more than 300 million people worldwide suffering from asthma (many of whom are young children) is now added to my mission.

In your growing toolbox of holistic treatments for chronic illness, add yoga. I'm proof positive that it works.

The Evil Eye

2009-10-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

So what do you do when your little one seems to be showing symptoms of pink eye and you desperately need him to go to preschool the next day?

This is one of those occasions where I really do want to reach for the quick fix. The medicinal relief. However, my gut tells me that pink eye is really not that big of a deal and that the stuff they prescibe to get rid of the goo is probably a lot worse than the goo itself.

So I got online and started googling "natural remedy for pink eye" and found an interesting recipe I will test out myself. Milk and honey. If it's good for the Tribe (as in "the land of",) why not for the eye?

Of the various suggestions listed on the Natural Cure Reviews web site, this seemed to be the one my 3yo would least likely scream in agony from (I don't know what kind of parent feels comfortable squirting lime juice into a child's eye.) If the feedback is correct, I just might get away with sending the wee one off to school tomorrow. Basically, you clean the eye, and follow up with a mix of milk with honey (or, in our case, rice milk), which you periodically squirt into eye with a cotton ball. Supposedly, relief is imminent!

I'll let you know how it works. In the meantime, do you have a natural remedy for pink eye you want to share (other than "try not to let cold-infected child wipe snot into his eye?") Would love for you to share.

Evidence of The Wellness Revolution

2009-10-04T06:34:00.001-07:00

Let me introduce to you a new regular feature called "The Wellness Revolution."

These will be bits and facts to support my hypothesis that the "wellness revolution" is coming. That there is a slow, but steady awakening in this country to holistic health, natural living choices, and illness prevention through wellness. In essence, that mainstream America wants more options...and the governing movers and shakers and money makers are listening.

Exhibit 1

JIF Omega-3 Peanut Butter
I saw this product advertised in the latest issue of Whole Living body+soul, a nice mainstream publication that also proves the wellness revolution is upon us.

I haven't tried JIF Omega-3 (and "creamy") Peanut Butter, since we are a peanut-free household, but word on the street says that the mix is pretty tolerable considering it contains anchovy and sardine oil. I'm not sure about the other ingredients (ie. sugar content and hydrogenated fats). But depending on how those rate, this might be a good way to get choosy kids to choose Omega-3s.

One More Vax Post

2009-10-04T05:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, I promise. This will be my last post about vaccinations for a while. But, I thought this would be useful information for people who are curious to know more about potentially troublesome ingredients in vaccinations that many parents are concerned about. Considering that most doctors or clinics don't hand over an ingredient list for you to read before injection, here is one useful document that might give you something to consider and research in advance.

http://www.cdc.gov/VACCINES/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-2.pdf

A Responsible Approach to the Flu Vaccine?

2009-09-25T05:18:00.000-07:00

I happen to be one of those parents that feels conflicted by flu season every year. My oldest son is asthmatic, and if you were to believe what the CDC and the AAP say, asthmatics are on the "high risk" list for children who definitely should be given the flu vaccine every year. Why? Because should the get the flu, their chances of being in distress are higher due to their asthma. This seems to be a fairly logical reasoning and for that reason, I have been frightened enough in previous years to give my son a mercury-laden flu vaccine. (Last year, I was lucky enough to find a doctor who stocked a mercury-free flu vaccine for him.)

Another way to look at the flu vaccine for asthmatics would be this: Children with chronic illness such as asthma may be genetically more susceptible to the dangerous side effects of mercury and other toxic chemicals inside the adjuvants for the vaccine, such as squalene (which some doctors feel may be responsible for Gulf War Syndrome). "The limiting factor for approval of new adjuvants has been that most are far too toxic for use in humans," says Sheri Tenpenny, D.O.

If this is the case, shouldn't we be strongly considering the pros and cons of injecting children with chronic illness with vaccines that contain such components? Should we be making a wide-sweeping generalization that the entire population should be vaccinated?

To clairify my position on vaccinations...I don't have a position. I am thankful that we live in an age of modern medicine; where parents do not have to be fearful every day that their child will be paralyzed by or die of polio. On the other hand, I do believe our government, our medical associations, and in many ways, our physicians are irresponsible in blindly vaccinating our young babies and children. Not taking into account family history, genetic predisposition, and the probability for side effects from vaccinating BASED on such family history or genetic predisposition.

It's like saying:
You own a home.
Older homes have older roofs.
Since some older roofs may be dangerous, you should replace your roof now.
And everyone goes and spends $30,000 (which they may need a major long-term loan to fund) to fix a roof they haven't even had inspected or examined.
Yes, by fixing EVERY roof in advance of a potential disaster, you're saving people from that particular disaster.
But without examination, inspection and most important, consideration of the long-term effects of making that decision, you are making a decision based on fear and panic, not on truth.

And some people will feel secure and at ease that they replaced their roof in advance of a potential disaster.

But, a lot of people will be paying for an unneccesary roof repair for a long time after.

Breakin' it down

2009-09-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

Defending Our Kids

2009-09-16T05:09:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I participated in what was touted as NJ's First, Green Children's Health Expo called "Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet." The incredible organizers of this event were optimistic with their tagline "How to Raise Healthy Children in a Toxic World." An alternate, more frighteningly appropriate tagline could have been "Wake Up! Learn How We're Damaging Our Kids."

Many of the conference attendees were parents of children who have already been "damaged," so to speak. Parents of children like mine, who suffer from food allergy or chemical sensitivity. Parents of children with autism or asperger's. Parents whose children are dying from childhood cancer. Parents of children who are slowly dying from diabetes or obesity. Parents looking for answers. Why my child? How did this happen? Why is it happening to so many kids?

Forgive me for labeling your child as "damaged." It's not fair. The fault is not his, nor is it yours. It's ours.

We are a country (a world?) that is failing our kids.

Perhaps my language seems harsh or cruel or alarmist to you.

But using subtleties seems to be ineffective. And keeping quiet is irresponsible.

Trust me, the first thing I said to my husband when I got home on Sunday night was, "Since we can't leave the planet, I think we should consider leaving New Jersey. Pronto." If I wanted to be selfish, I'd shut up, sell my house (taking a loss) and run with my three kids from this state that is known by health professionals for its toxic water, polluted air, and one of the highest rates of autism in the world (1 in 64 boys in this state).

But I can't keep my mouth shut. Ask anyone who knows me. The ones who love me endearingly refer to me as "opinionated;" the ones who don't probably call me "that crazy lady down the street" and egg my house with non-organic eggs.

I bet you're looking for cold, hard facts. The stuff that sent shivers up my spine; made the audience groan...or even cry. Lots of us were actually brought to tears during Sunday's keynote address by local environmental activist, Kim Gaddy, mom of three asthmatic kids, who educates and advocates for changes in the air quality of Newark's and NJ's kids.

Gaddy followed board-certified pediatric allergist and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Doris Rapp, whose most recent book is called "Our Toxic World: A Wake Up Call." As you can imagine from that book title, Dr. Rapp does not mince words. If you are an individual who needs cold, hard documented facts from the medical community to start hearing things differently, Dr. Rapp is a person you should see speak.

Some cold hard facts for you:

* Over 150 million (54.6%) Americans test positive to one or more allergens.
* 9 million have obesity, a statistic that's tripled since 1980
* 7.5 million children have hay fever symptoms
* 6.7 million children and 16.2 million adults have asthma. The increase in 10 years is 1.1 million.
* 5 million children have ADHD. This is a 27% increase in 10 years.
* 2.2 million children (1: 17) have food or digestion allergy (an 18% increase in 10 years)
* 27% of these have skin allergy and they are 2-4 times more likely to have asthma, other allergies.
* 1.5 million have autism, 1:150 children (This number is much higher in NJ!)
* 1.2 million have learning disabilities. 1 in 7 children.
* 0.7 million or 10% have eczema, From 1960-90 the number tripled.
* From 1973 - 1992, incidents of Melanoma cancer went up 4% per year, Prostate cancer up 105%, Breast cancer up 34-47% (race specific), 10% increase breast cancer under 50, Testicular cancer up 67 %
(Email me if you want documentation. Dr. Rapp was generous and responsible enough to share her powerpoint presentation with me.)

There are doctors, health professionals, and parents like me that believe these numbers did not spike by chance. How could they? Is there a mathametician that could explain the likelihood of accident or coincidence to me?

According to Dr. Rapp and to many physicians practicing RESPONSIBLE health care in this country these staggering increases are due to:

Chemicals in our schools (toxic cleaning supplies, formaldehyde in furniture and in carpet)
Chemicals in our food (cancer- and disease-causing pesticides and GMOS)
Chemicals on our lawns and in our playgrounds
Pollution in our air and in our water
Potentially-damaging carcinogens and allergens in our vaccinations
Sugar-laden, processed, chemical-laden food being hand-fed to our children and our poor
Over- and unneccessarily-medicating our children
Ignoring less invasive, alternative therapies for treating illness

Yes, as a mother and as a wife and as a human being who still struggles with fear on a daily basis, I want to run and hide and pretend I don't know this information. I know how you feel. I am not any braver than you. I'm just as terrified as you are.

But please, I'm begging you. Help me make a difference.

In particular, the government and, on a smaller level, our school systems, are being GROSSLY NEGLIGENT in protecting our children.

As Dr. Rapp said this weekend, "how much worse must it become before we unite and act to protect this planet and protect our children?"

Died and Gone to Heaven

2009-09-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Today I just about died and went to heaven. Well, not really. The polar opposite really. I immersed myself in an environment that could not be more focused on healing... and on living.

Lucky for you, the "Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet" conference is a two-day expo being held in Newark, NJ this weekend. If you've heard about the event, but didn't go today because you were lazy or tired or didn't feel like traveling in the rain, I invite you to change your agenda for tomorrow. If health or wellness or non-toxic living matters to you at all, there are some people you have to meet and many have gathered in one place, at UMDMJ for the SOKHOP conference this weekend.

Mindful Living NJ is a proud sponsor of this event, so we get to share our mission with the individuals passing through. However, I also took advantage of listening to the many educated and passionate professionals who offered their time to teach to not just the converted, but also new initiates.

The educators were health professionals dedicated to saving our children, people like: Dr. Lawrence Rosen, Dorothy Mullen, and Doris Rapp

The attendees were people like you and me.

Individuals whose children were recently diagnosed with autism; school nurses who are fed up with the food their students are being fed both in the cafeteria and at home; moms and dads looking to take that first step towards less toxic living. There's a wealth of information, products and resources.

And get this: $10/person. Your kids are welcome and free. (Kids can't go into the lectures but they can wander the exhibit floor and say hi to me at the Mindful Living NJ table.)

For those of you addicted to topics like: organics, green living, holistic parenting, preventative wellness, nutrition; this is your dream come true.

For those of you addicted to sugar, high fructose corn syrup, caffeine, and food additives, this is your worst nightmare. But you need this information the most. (And I say this not from a place of judging, but a place of empathy. We all have demons to fight.)

For those of you interested, but nervous about getting started on any of the above types of lifestyle changes; this event is a safe, low pressure way to get more information.

If I haven't made it clear already, I highly recommend you join me on Sunday, September 13, from 9am - 5 pm at the Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet expo in Newark, NJ.

When you come, say hi!

Angling for a nut-free beach zone

2009-08-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

I grew up spending summertime by the Jersey Shore. Whether my stay was for a day, a long weekend, or a week, I always looked forward to sand, sun, and classic Jersey shore treats. Salt water taffy, funnel cake, and fudge. (I was lucky enough to indulge in that crap and still pull off a tank-ini. Those were the days.)

Fortunately, I've been able to share that experience with my children the past few summers. But what I quickly learned is that the beach is a danger zone for my nut-allergic kid. Those of you without food allergic kids are most likely oblivious to the fact that nuts, particularly peanuts, are EVERYWHERE down the shore.

1. Fudge Kitchen: Contaminated! Vanilla Walnut fudge
2. Johnson's Popcorn: Contaminated! Peanut Butter Crunch
3. Stewart's: Contaminated! Peanut Oil in their fries
4. Kohr Bros.: Contaminated! Peanut Butter custard in the machines

Luckily, the kid is happy with cotton candy and Rita's Water Ice; fairly safe treats (in terms of his nut allergy.)

I long ago came to terms with the fact that this kid was not going to be able to enjoy the same types of sweet treats as his peers. Neither one of us is particularly bothered by it anymore.

Something that still REALLY gets under my skin, though, is the people who leave peanut shells on the beach.

First off all, who still thinks littering on the beack is ok? What, you like the way seagulls zero in on your food and attack it? The city makes it pretty easy to throw your garbage away with both trash and recycling cans at every beach entry way.

Second of all, while your child may not be allergic to nuts, you have to be living in your very own la-la land not to know the incidence with which peanut allergies are occuring in our young children these days. What numskull thinks it's ok to bury his peanut shells beneath the sand for an unassuming peanut-allergic 6-year old to stumble upon while working on a sandcastle?

I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt if this is something you've done in the past. Perhpas you never thought about it. You don't have a nut allergic family member and chucking peanuts is a family tradition.

Consider this your lesson learned.

Next summer, if you need to enjoy peanuts on the beach. Please keep them to yourself.

The birds don't want your remnants and neither does my kid.

The "Conservative" View on Healthcare Reform

2009-08-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

Dr. Andrew Weil, one of the forefathers of the modern movement to integrate alternative therapies into our mainstream approach to medical care in this country writes in the Huffington Post:

But here's my question: Since when is it conservative to embrace new, overpriced, corrupt systems, like the health-destroying and ruinously expensive protocols of much of modern medicine? "Conservative" has several meanings, but two central ones are "favoring traditional views and values," and "avoiding excess."

I hold that nothing could be more wild, unconstrained, and downright liberal than the path medicine has taken in just the last 20 years --an unprecedented bacchanalia of excess and contempt for traditional American values.

Later, he maintains three ways, in particular, in which integrative medicine is "profoundly conservative:"

1. It is philosophically conservative in that it aims to restore core values of medicine that were strong in the past, such as a reverence for the healing power of nature and the importance of the therapist-patient relationship.

2. It is medically conservative in stressing prevention and advocating lesser rather than greater intervention -- the least invasive, least harmful, least expensive treatments that the circumstances of illness demand. IM practitioners always observe the Hippocratic precept of "First, do no harm," relying in simpler interventions whenever possible and turning to more drastic ones only when the former fail to produce desired outcomes.

3. It is fiscally conservative in its willingness to look beyond the blinders of high-tech medicine to identify inexpensive therapies that may be useful and in its insistence that they be held to the same standard for clinical- and cost-effectiveness in well-designed outcomes trials.

It's easy to get lost or bored in the ongoing sea of information and opinion on healthcare reform in this country. I'm personally thankful for Dr. Weil's ongoing reminders that prevention, wellness, and a return to a strong, trustworthy patient-practitioner relationship must be on the top of the list of priorities when examining any new healthcare policy for this country.

Trying something new

2009-08-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

The other day, right before my husband and I met another couple out for dinner, he asked me not to "talk about anything kooky." I looked at him and played dumb.

"What exactly do you mean by 'kooky?'"

"Oh, come on. You know. There's a particular audience for organics, mantras, and spiritual healing. I don't think this is the audience for that kinda stuff."

I was in a playful mood that night so I didn't jump down his throat. And, to be sure, I was probably a little more thoughtful about the direction of my conversation that evening, purely out of respect for him. However, this concept of my work being "kooky," or straddling the line between normal and voodoo, was not a new one.

Depending on who I am talking to among my friends (ie. my book club girls) and family (ie. most of them), I'm careful to choose my words wisely in describing a particular modality, service, practitioner, or event. My intention is not deception, but instead a subtle encouragement of transformation using benign, non-threatening language.

Many of us are entering a new world as it pertains to our health and wellness. Models that we've come to know most of our lives are shifting as we speak. It's the hottest political and social topic on everyone's tongue and in most news publications. You know what I'm talking about, right?

Health care, obviously.

In my work trying to make connections between holistic health practitioners and community members who need their help, my biggest challenge is often convincing my friends and family to try something new.

What's funny to me is that some of them might occasionally see an acupuncturist for infertility or a chiropractor for back pain (which is definitely progress!), but roll their eyes at learning acupressure to ease their migraines, cramps, or sinus pressure. Those same people might have spent the last 10 years in therapy for depression, but would not take the time to learn how foods they are eating are making them sick and how particular nutritional supplements might make them well. They hire personal trainers to help them get in shape, but are timid to explore energy work or meditation.

I'd be remiss if I said I did not undertsand where they are coming from. Despite the fact that I am very open to trying new modalities, such as sound vibrational healing at the upcoming:

CRYSTAL BOWL HEALING WORKSHOP
TUESDAY, AUGUST 18, 7:30 - 10 pm
AQUARIAN SUN HEALING & LEARNING CENTER

Sometimes, I too find myself wary about particular practices or treatments. Even I have a point at which I ponder the legitmacy of a practice or the credibility of a so-called practitioner. This is called, "keeping myself safe." And, obviously, much of this is subjective.

However, in my mind, what's stopping most people is one of two things:

1. FEAR
2. MONEY

Some--especially those "kooky" people who practice law of atrraction-- might argue that #2 is really a subset of #1. But for the sake of discussion, let's imagine these are two distinct reasons.

What's stopping you?

If there was a chance that an alternative therapy could help ease your pain, bring you relief, and keep you from ongoing treatments, prescription medication, and trips to the doctor, why aren't you trying it?

What's stopping you?

If you knew the $500 you'd shell out today to see a gifted cranial osteopath would save you many more dollars in hospital co-pays for invasive surgery, what would you choose?

What's stopping you?

This is not rhetorical. I'd really like to know the answer. Perhaps, if we (holistic health educators and practitioners) understood the answer, we could reach, and help, more people.

Mindful Living NJ...IRL

2009-08-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

I'm still warm and fuzzy from experiencing a wonderful evening of collaboration, information, and support at the first Mindful Living Salon in Maplewood, NJ. The topic was "holistic alternatives to treating allergies and asthma."

It's one thing to have an idea; it's quite another to witness that idea play out successfully. My intention with the Mindful Living Salon was to create a comfortable forum where sufferers of chronic illness could gather to learn about less invasive ways to deal with their illness and would also find support from like-minded individuals who were also looking to approach their illness holistically. The thought-provoking presentations from our four presenters led to interesting and collaborative discussion. As I shared with our guests and presenters at the end of the evening, seeing Mindful Living NJ played out in front of me ("making connections that make a difference") really inspired me to continue this work that I do. It also motivated me to keep on truckin' on my own path to wellness.

Thanks so much to Shakti Yoga & Living Arts for being a gracious host; to Solutions to Savor and Health Waters Inc. for refreshments; and to the blog at The Motherhood Magazine for spreading the word about our cause to others.

The Mindful Living Salon will be an ongoing event. The next Mindful Living Salon on Allergies & Asthma will focus on "the mind" and how this part of our person may affect our allergies and asthma both positively and negatively. Also coming soon, Mindful Living Salon: Holistic alternatives to treating and preventing MIGRAINES.

Contact me for more info.

Coffee Snob

2009-08-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

On my continuing quest to isolate exactly which foods my body is reacting to, I've been reminded that the educator may always be educated (or at least reminded). This is why I love working with holistic health and wellness practitioners -- I continue to learn all the time.

In this particular case, I was talking to holistic nutritionist Felecia Bell-Schafer about my relationship with coffee. I do love coffee.

It was a love affair that started off slow and sweet.

First in college with those little metal tins of flavored instant coffee my Bubbi would send in care packages.
Then I discovered Starbucks' Frappacino drinks when they first came out, back when the only flavor they offered was coffee, and there was no mountain of whipped cream on top. Then I opted for heavily sweetened coffee with milk and sugar from one of the guys on the corner of Prince and Broadway on my way to work at Scholastic.
I also dabbled with Nescafe and Elite instant coffees, but recently as I've started to drink my coffee black (thanks to trouble with both cow's and soy milk), I decided I liked a darker, higher quality brew.

What I explained to Felecia is that sometimes I can get away with drinking 8 oz. of black coffee with no side effects, and sometimes it's sends me straight to the little girl's room. She asked if I noticed a difference between brands. I didn't really, but I had noticed I was usually unaffected when I got my regular Americano from South Orange's Bonte Waffles where I like to work and mingle.

"Is their coffee organic?" she asked.

Indeed it is.

Duh.

As much as I go around practically screaming at anyone who will listen, "buy organic! Buy organic! It really DOES matter," I'd forgotten that drinking organic coffee would likely make a difference to my belly.

Certified organic coffee is chemical free. Inspectors test soil, leaf, and beans for chemical residue.

So, it's likely that while I may be sensitive to coffee, when I drink it in abundance (even the organic blend at Bonte), what I'm reacting to when I drink other, non-organic coffee is likely the chemicals.

Oops.

= = = = = = = =

Want to meet Felecia Bell-Schafer in person tonight?

She'll be speaking (along with Andrew Halperin, Jutta Gassner-Snyder, and Anna Winkler) about holistic alternatives to treating allergies & asthma at the Mindful Living Salon in Maplewood, NJ, from 7 -9 pm.

More info or register at:

http://www.mindfullivingnj.com/MindfulLivingSalonAllergies.htm

Food Fight

2009-08-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

I know I might make a few enemies when I start knocking on Weight Watchers--one of the most successful weight loss organizations in the world with members numbering in the millions, including some of my own family and friends.

So, first, let me offer some kudos to the organization. Weight Watchers has helped a lot of people lose weight (and keep it off). Obesity is one of the fastest growing epidemics in our country, particularly among our children, so anything that inspires people to commit to taking charge of their health has its benefits. Also, Weight Watchers encourages members to keep track of and monitor their food intake -- not bad, since so often we Americans just stuff our face with whatever is close, easy or tasty. We hardly stop to think about what we're eating. We simply choose whatever will soothe our growling bellies.

My most basic beef with Weight Watchers is that they maintain that by following their system, members can eat "whatever they want," as long as their daily point totals do not go over the allotted amount. This is insanity! According to Weight Watchers, you can eat at KFC, Pizza Hut, or Burger King every night for dinner (fast food joints which have volunteered to assign Weight Watchers point to their menus), and still be on target.

In the same category, Weight Watchers, which has become a brand name and produces their own line of foods, has carelessly incorporated ingredients in their packaged foods which LEAD TO OBESITY. In only a cursory review of a few Weight Watchers brand food items in a family member's kitchen I found a frozen meal that was swimming in high sodium content and a dessert (only 2 points!) made with high fructose corn syrup.

But here is my biggest problem with Weight Watchers, and similar programs that create easy (aka lazy) ways to look at one's diet. It is a completely irresponsible way of educating people who legitmately want to make a lifestyle change.

Weight Watchers has an amazing opportunity to REALLY make a difference in a person's life and instead chooses too teach its members how to convert their food into numbers rather than teaching people the real power of food. They choose to focus on treating a symptom (obesity), not the cause of the symptom (poor eating habits, stress, insufficient exercise, loss, grief, etc.) And indoctrinate their members that this is a "healthy way of life."

Apparently health and nutrition professionals are involved in creating and monitoring the Weight Watchers plan. But I can't help but think these folks have sold out.

Inspire me and give others hope

2009-07-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

So, friendly readers -- my massage therapist and friend Sue Rexford tells me there actually are readers of this blog -- I need your help on a new project I'm very excited about.
Along with wellness and retreat coach Ilysse Rimalovski, I am collecting stories, your stories, with the hopes of inspiring others.

Did you map your own path to wellness?

We are seeking stories from people like you who:

Became your own primary care coordinator.

Overcame the challenge of chronic illness, despite being told you could not.

Were healed by alternative or complementary therapies.

Found a miracle cure or survived a life threatening illness using a biomedical approach.

Discovered your voice through advocating for yourself or your child's healthcare.

Stories to be considered for publication should be no longer than 500 words. Please include your name and age and as many other details you're willing to share. Don't worry, stories will not be published until or unless you hear from us.

Think about the day you got your diagnosis...or the moment the doctor told you he couldn't help you...or the morning you decided to take control of your family's healthcare. There are others at the beginning of that same journey who would benefit so much from from knowing you made it to the other side. And that they are not alone.

Please send stories to: jen@mindfullivingnj.com . In the subject line, write "story of hope/healing" so I know it's from you!

Can't wait to hear from you.

P.S. If you ever feel like commenting on this blog or any blog entry, I'd love the feedback.

Happy mama

2009-07-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest transitions for me when I was a new mom was allowing myself some "me time." Particularly since I worked a full-time office job when my first son was an infant, spending time away from him at night or on weekends often caused me new mom angst.

It wasn't until after I had baby #2 that I stopped feeling so guilty when I occasionally indulged in an activity that did not include sippy cups or hand games. And now, as a mom to three, I say, "Guilt? Remind me again what that is?" The direct relation between my happiness (or my crankiness) and "me time" has become crystal clear.

After spending 10 days on a family "vacation" to Israel this month, which included a round trip flight with three children 12 hours each way, I was quite ready for some time to focus on myself. Some parts of my body needed it more than others. My poor neck suffered greatly from riding in cars and planes. My back ached from carrying a 22 lb infant around all day, every day. But mostly, I needed some quiet space to once again focus on my own thoughts, needs, and desires.

Lucky for me, two opportunities were already scheduled in my calendar in indelible ink. First: a retreat to Storm King Arts Center in upstate NY with my MOMentum friends, guided by the multi-talented Maia Gilman. And second: my semi-private yoga class shared with two wise and supportive new friends (Judie and Rita) and led by Amy Witmyer.

To be sure, I left my house for the retreat on Saturday morning jet-lagged and defeated, wondering if I would actually come home at the end of the day or instead run off to the Carribbean to climb trees and peel grapefruits. After a day of introspection, meditation, and timidly exploring group sound vibration, I came home with a rejuvenated soul ready to serve my family once again. No guilt. Just glory.

Today, I entered Sacred Space Yoga and Wellness stiff and sore all over. While I've practiced yoga off and on for 10 years, I've spent more time off than on. My postnatal body, which formally would open freely to all sorts of limber positions (I'm talking about gymnastics here, gentle readers) is not what it once was. But I've discovered that practicing an eclectic mix of yoga with Amy, who hesitates to pigeon hole herself in any particular school or practice, is the ideal way to reawaken this particular body. Amy honors your particular needs and skill level. Seeing that my neck was still facing west toward the Wailing Wall, she helped position me in a proper plow pose. Ahhhh...release.

At the end of the class, I was not only feeling more elastic and lithe, but I was giddy with non-guilty pleasure. I had just spent the last hour and a half with the cell phone off, selfishily focusing on myself, my body, and my mind. No Maidenberg child was worse the wear. And mama was infinitely better.

I got in the car, drove home, and loved those children up.

Listen to Your Heart

2009-07-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

My heart's trying to tell me something. It's beating poetic:
Listen to me...
Listen to me...
Listen to me...

A Reiki session yesterday with Amy Witmyer of Sacred Space Yoga and Wellness made me particularly aware of the crisis my heart is in.

Reiki, which is better tried than described, is energy work. A Reiki master, Amy is trained to be a clear channel or a conduit of universal energy. Lying on the table, I was the receiver.

As she placed her hands over my chest, I felt my lungs tighten up. I couldn't breathe. I'm asthmatic, so my first thought was, "Uh-oh, what's happening?" My next thought was, "Just breathe." Slow and deep, my breath returned.

Talking about the incident with Amy after was pretty enlightening. During that particular part of our session, it turns out, Amy's hands were over my heart chakra.

"The standard hand placements of Reiki healing target the seven major chakras, which are often rendered dysfunctional and discolored – even completely closed – by problems of the mind, body or spirit. Keeping these gateways properly functioning is vitally important to our health, because disruptions in energy flow lead to illness." (wellspringreiki.com)

Was my heart closed? It definitely felt as if my heart was guarded, as if I was trying to resist the energy from flowing through.

This is not too much of a startling revelation for me. Anyone who is any one in the field of "intuitive healing" has accused me of being too cerebral; too much inside my head. 9 times out of 10, I let my head lead where my heart might do a better job.

But if I was to be brutally honest about it, I've been shushing my heart for quite awhile. I'm a serial heart-shusher. I'm an outwardly emotional creature, you see. Many of my close friends and family have seen or heard me cry; More of them have seen me scream in frustration or anger. But, I'd bet that most would say I'm a thinker, not a feeler.

The funny thing is, the few times I've actually let my heart lead, I've ended up with some of the best results of my life: My husband, my children, my business. But, there's a high risk associated with putting your heart in the front lines. Better chance you'll get wounded.

But the risk of shushing your heart, hiding it, guarding it, is much greater.

"Acting as the bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds, the heart chakra is the center of love and emotional well-being. When this chakra is functioning optimally, our ability to give and receive unconditional love is well developed. We are compassionate. Dysfunction of this chakra often results in feelings of sadness, fear and anger and can lead to heart disease." (wellspringreiki.com)

More love. Less fear. I think my heart's telling me something.

Handpicked

2009-06-15T07:04:00.000-07:00

Every summer as the local farmer's markets start setting up in library parking lots, I'm reminded where my priorities lie. At the famer's market in South Orange, NJ, for instance, you cannot find locally grown produce that is also organic.

In my happy fantasy world, the fruits and vegetables I'd buy would be locally grown on poison-free fields and would not have been shipped cross country in large petroleum-burning trucks. But choices such as those are few and far between in our neck of the woods. So, until my fantasy world becomes more reality-friendly, my family needs to focus on avoiding pesticides and other synthetic chemicals. This is priority #1 for us. This means, if we want to eat local and organic, we'll need to trek over to the Montclair Farmer's Market where, word has it, organic farms set up shop.

Sadly, gone are the days that blueberries handpicked by your children on a field trip meant eating the freshest and healthiest fruit available. I find that this concept is really difficult for my generation, but moreso for my parent's generation to understand. So, let me stress it again. Food from the farm does not = safe. Confirmation requires a conversation. So, just as we conscious shoppers (hopefully) read the labels in the supermarket when doing our weekly food buys, you must speak to the grower at the farmer's market before you buy.

Last summer, I asked a gentleman selling produce at the farmer's market in South Orange if he used pesticides on his fields. He rolled his eyes ("...oh, jeez, here's another fairy granola type.") and replied that he uses "safe" pesticides approved for commercial farming. He simultaneously growled and chuckled as I walked away.

I know I'm not the only one who finds herself in a quandry when faced with the choice of local vs. organic. Time reporter John Cloud wrote about it a couple of years ago. There are food activists that have whole blogs devoted to the dilemmas we're now facing as it pertains to our food supply, the way we grow and harvest food, and they way we feed ourselves in modern times. The good news amidst the discussion is that people are actually starting to pay attention. And some of those paying attention are starting to think differently. And you know what tends to happen once people start thinking differently...

Change.
===

Next up..."Why you CAN afford to eat Organic." (aka "Why that grande latte you just bought cost more than a pound of organic apples.")

Feeling Goode

2009-06-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this new animated program Wednesdays on ABC called (clearly with tongue firmly planted in cheek) The Goode Family?

Created by Mike Judge, of Beavis and Butthead fame, The Goode Family is centered around an obsessively green family who also are uber-PC. The dad's a liberal professor at the community college and the mom's an activist. One of the early jokes is that they adopted their now teenage son from Africa, but due to a logistical error, the baby they got was a white South African baby (born to criminal Afrikaaners) instead of a black African baby. Named Ubuntu, the kid dresses in traditional West African garb.

The family is vegan of course, including the family dog who terrorizes the other neighborhood pets because of his carnivorous fantasies.

I watched the premiere episode with my husband the other night; both of us laughing out loud in spots. It's hard, though, to figure out if we were laughing "at" them or "with" them, as the old saying goes. If I had to commit, I'd probably choose "at" them, but with fondness.

I have no idea the political leanings of Mike Judge and his production team. Nor do I know if they shop organic or recycle their glass and plastic. It really doesn't matter.

What's so exciting about this show is that "alternative" lifestyle choices are becoming so mainstream that primetime TV has a place for a family who practices them -- even if the premise is to make fun of them! I love it.

A lot of the press surrounding the show claims it "rips the Whole Foods crowd." I wholeheartedly disagree. I am the Whole Foods crowd and I laughed til I cried when the mom goes shopping at the big box chain organic grocery store and in the produce section finds an endless stream of signs that distinguish between multiple types of organic and locally grown fruit, each priced higher than the next!

Mindful Living NJ aims to introduce mainstream Americans to what might be considered less mainstream choices in the areas of wellness and home care. The Goode Family is a hip vehicle serving the same purpose. It's well-written and funny, particularly for the high fructose corn syrup-eating, leather-wearing, antiobiotics-addicted majority.

Laughing at the Goodes is a happy place where we can all meet in the middle.

Composting really IS easy

2009-05-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

So here's one of my deep, dark, dirty secrets.

I don't compost. Not yet. At least, not on purpose. What I discovered yesterday, though, is that composting really IS easy. So, easy you can do it without even knowing it.

I recently wrote in "News You Can Use from Mindful Living NJ" why composting is important and useful. Green waste from our yard and kitchen accounts for about 25 percent of the material being hauled from your home each week. Composting provides a way not only of reducing the amount of waste that needs to be disposed of, but also of converting that waste into a product that is useful for gardening, landscaping, or house plants. Otherwise it ends up in depleting landfill space.

Well, without a banana peel or an eggshell to assist its growth, our family has successfully created our own dark, rich, worm-filled compost pile.

Here's the Maidenberg recipe for backyard compost:

INGREDIENTS

* 1 Large Storage Container positioned against a wall of your home

* 1 Heaping Pile of Leaves leftover from last autumn

DIRECTIONS

1. Make sure to ignore big pile of leaves that have fallen behind and around the storage container. Do not rake, bag or move them.

2. Let leaves sit through at least the fall and winter season. Better yet, do not think about leaves until the end of spring. (My husband and I differ on this step. He thinks it makes for better compost if you ignore the leaves for a full calendar year, possibly two.)

3. Move large storage container

4. Compost (earthworms included!) ready

To learn how do it the right way, check out Virginia Lamb's upcoming workshop on Composting 101 in Maplewood. It's this Thursday night, May 28, at 7 pm at the Maplewood Memorial Library in Maplewood. The workshop is $10, but for $60 you get the info and a brand new compost bin and kitchen scrap bucket. Registration is required. For more information, contact Virginia Lamb at 347-262-0704 or compost.education@yahoo.com

The Healthy Side Effects of Letting Go

2009-05-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

In fiction, and occasionally in real life, you learn about people who have gone through such a remarkable experience that they rethink old grudges or make peace with closeted demons. These stories usually involve near-death experiences or life-threatening illness. My mastery of the art of letting go, however, has been a slow and steady process.

Today, though, as I drove through the neighborhood I grew up in and past the house of childhood girlfriend of mine, I suddenly realized that my present happiness is proportionate to how much I've let go of the past.

We were thick as thieves for years in our early youth; looked so much alike we even pretended we were twins. A few tumultous teenage years ended the friendship and for many years after, I thought of her with bitterness. Not so as I drove past her house this afternoon. In fact, I zeroed in on a memory of riding my bike to her house on weekend afternoons, and then took my minvan on an adventure following my former bike route. What was more amazing? I wondered. That I used to be physically fit enough to bike that distance or that my mom allowed me?

What was most notable for me in those few moments was that when I thought of my old friend, I smiled wide. My cold heart for her had thawed.

I felt so inspired at that moment, I pulled over to the side of the road and fumbled for a pen. Settling on an old magazine instead of paper, I jotted down some thoughts that led to this blog.

"What good is practicing yoga if you do not practice forgiveness?"

"How far will meditation take you if you do not mend fences?"

"Why do we feed our body healthful food, but we will not feed our mind healthful thoughts?"

It's no secret that our emotions are key players in managing our health. Carried anger is as much of a carcinogen as tobacco or asbetos. It's toxic... and illness feeds on it.

It's no coincidence that in the mantra of "Mind - Body - Spirit," mind comes first.

The healthy side effects of letting go are not as obvious as weight loss or increased energy. Sometimes it's as simple as a realization that you are no longer bitter. That you long for the friend you spent half a lifetime loathing. That you wish happiness for the ex-boyfriend who was a serial cheater. Or peace for the unfriendly neighbor.

Letting go takes practice, though. And, like exercise, becomes easier once you get into a routine.

So, I challenge you. Forgive someone on Monday. Mend a broken fence on Wednesday. And on Friday, remember someone who loves you.

And do that every week for three weeks.

Before you know it, you'll be in a routine.

Double Standard

2009-04-23T16:31:00.001-07:00

This probably falls into the category of "do your research before you blog." But I welcome comments from readers who might have more information on the following story.

I recently learned from a local mom that a nearby elementary school has suddenly decided to go peanut-free, mid-year. This mom was upset because her son is autistic and peanut butter is the only thing he'll eat.

Being the parent of a nut-allergic kid who is often on the defensive against parents who claim that peanut butter is the only food their child will eat, I took a deep breath and realized there is a world of parenting challenges I personally know nothing about -- and one is autism.

In this particular case, I was quick to offer nut-free alternatives to the mom (like Sunbutter), but was actually much more curious as to why the school suddenly went peanut-free mid-year and without the vote of a governing body or the involvement of the PTA.

It turns out that the principal of the school has a peanut allergy. Recently, she was sitting next to a colleague who was eating peanut butter and went into anaphylactic shock. Thankfully, the principal is ok, as I understand, but in response to this incident, the school went into food lockdown.

An email was circulated through the PTA chains of command and into the inboxes of parents. Many of whom are probably pissed. And others (as I would be if it were my son's school) probably did a very loud cheer in front of their computer screens.

Yes, I would be celebrating such a stroke of good luck for my family. While peanut-free zones don't make my son's world 100% safe since he has tree nut allergies, too, it is one less thing to be anxious about.

Yet, more than anything, this move by the school really perturbs me.

Tell me, why is the health and life of the principal more valuable than the students'?

I am pretty sure there is at least one peanut-allergic child in that school because there is a peanut-free kindergarten class. I know for absolute sure there is at least one milk-allergic child in that very same school.

Does it take an anaphylactic reaction for people to really get the severity of food allergies?

What if a student and not the principal had the anaphylactic reaction? Would the school community have reacted the same way? My son's school nurse has claimed she has administered the epi-pen to four students this year. We've heard nothing from our school about removing any foods from the lunch room.

It's as if food allergies in adults are taken seriously, but food allergies in children are treated as if we are all hypochondriacs.

I don't know exactly where I stand when it comes to school-wide nut-free policies. As the parent of a nut-allergic kid, it would make MY life easier. But then I think of all the parents whose children have anaphylactic dairy allergies or egg allergies. Who is protecting those children?

What I do know is what I don't know. (And I don't mean to sound callous.)

Who decided that this adult's life was worth protecting over a child's?

Fight the power

2009-04-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

So after 6 months on a severe elimination diet while breastfeeding my infant, I've come to terms with the fact that while my daughter's symptoms have improved, she is still reacting to some food, if not multiple foods, in my diet.

I've been through this before with my son, now 2. To issue a breastfed baby poop a passing grade, I need to see lovely yellow seedy stools in her diaper. Hers are green and mucusy. They're also famous for their toxic, metallic odor.

While the average 6 month old may still continue to make spitty burps, my daughter refluxes cottage cheese hours after she has eaten. She cannot sleep extended stretches and only nursing seems to comfort her. She's covered in eczema and the poor thing has scratch marks to prove it's been itching her. It's time to make a change.

With my son, at this crossroads, I decided to try a total elimination diet (TED). This is what ultimately gave his poops a passing grade, but I only lasted about a month on the TED before my own health began to suffer. We weaned him to a prescription elemental formula called Neocate, which did the trick.

Did you know it's mandatory in the state of NJ for health insurance companies to cover infant formulas prescribed by a physician?

It is.

I'm sure it won't surprise you that insurance companies are skilled at finding loopholes and making it extremely difficult for their insured to take advantage of this mandate.

When I weaned my son to Neocate formula, it took countless phone calls, four letters to my health insurance company, two appeals, and one final letter threatening legal action (with a carbon copy to my lawyer and congressman) to finally convince them to take my claim seriously.

All this -- just to feed a baby.

The health insurance company only fuels this insanity by listing specialized infant formula as a covered benefit in all their documentation. So it SHOULD be as easy to fill as a prescription for Xanax or Celebrex, except it isn't.

Pre-authorization is required for special infant formula (remember, we're still talking about feeding a baby, here, not doping her up with happy pills.) This process requires multiple pieces of documentation from the physician, including, but not limited to case history, family history, the names and addresses of everyone who has every come in contact with the baby, the color and smell of every poop, the medical and lay name for every ailment she has suffered from...you get the idea.

All this -- just to feed a baby.

In our case, this translates into torturing the nurses and administrative staff of Dr. Maria Yerovi's office on a daily basis. We're fortunate that we've chosen a pediatrician who is dedicated to improving our child's health and, with the help of a compassionate staff, works above and beyond the requirements of a primary care physician. (Thank you!)

All this -- just to feed a baby.

The doctor says the baby needs the formula; the health insurance company has promised to provide coverage; and the state mandates it. It should be as easy as pie.

But it isn't.

All this -- just to feed a baby.

As you can imagine, healthcare reform is an issue that easily gets me up on my soapbox. I fully understand that our trials and tribulations in the process of securing coverage for this formula do not fall high on the list of priorities for the Obama administration's new formal office for healthcare reform. However, I hope that the people working in this new formal office understand exactly what they are up against.

If they want some real power in that office, they should take care to hire a mother.

This is why I do it

2009-04-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

"I came here feeling exhausted and depressed. Now, I feel like I could run a marathon!"
"I knew I'd find what I needed here. And I did!"
"Thank you so much for making me aware of what's available to me right here in my own town. I had no idea."
"The energy in this room is invigorating!"
And those were just a few of the comments from guests at the 2nd Annual Mindful Living Holistic Health and Wellness Fair on March 22 in Maplewood.

More than 600 people walked through the doors of the Maplewood Woman's Club -- whether they came to learn more about alternative and complementary medicine, to get a free massage, to sample yummy treats, or to learn how to juggle. The room was packed from 12 - 4pm and the vibe was energizing.

Thank you so much to the practitioners and businesses who shared their services with our guests. Your work is meaningful and impactful. You inspire me.

The true mission and spirit behind Mindful Living NJ (and what is present for me in all the work I do) is the desire to empower my fellow souls on this planet. And this is only accomplished by sharing and connecting. 600 down...6 billion to go!

One to Grow On

2009-03-19T11:14:00.001-07:00

Recently, I attended a lecture entitled "Vaccinating Your Children: A Holistic Pediatric Lecture" at Shakti Yoga & Living Arts/Shakti Ma given by integrative pediatrician Dr. Lawrence Palevsky who, in addition to his private practice, travels around the country educating and empowering parents and parents-to-be on the efficacy of childhood vaccinations.

If I was tested on Vaccinations 101, I'd get at C+ at best. I've done little more than moderate research; read a few books, skimmed a couple of articles, and listened to a few lectures on the topic. When it comes to vaccinating, I really wish I had a close friend who was an expert on the topic. It's not my area of expertise and yet it really, really scares me.

I'm not one of those people who the medical establishment claims has been scared away by the mainstream media's coverage of the autism and vaccine connection. I'm one of those people who has learned the hard way that our government just does not have our best interest in mind as it pertains to drug and food regulation in this country.

Two things really smacked me in the face following Dr. Palevsky's lecture.

#1. No one has ever handed me the paperwork contained in the package of a vaccination; not in advance of nor following a vaccination of my child. Worse yet, I've never thought to ask. At best, I've been given a standard xerox copy of "possible reactions" following this or that shot. No ingredients list. No list of contraindications. Other than what I've cursorily read about mercury or aluminum or other heavy metals used as preservatives, what else do I know about the ingredients I'm injecting into my child's bloodstream? I am someone who can spend ten minutes just looking at the list of ingredients on the back of a cereal box and yet I've never asked to see the list of ingredients in a vaccine.

#2. In his lecture, Dr. Palevsky discussed one particular ingredient used in vaccinations. It's labeled (on the ingredient list) as "complex fermentation media." Similar to "natural flavors" in the ingredients list on food packaging, this ingredient description is actually not very descriptive. It's a euphemism for "we don't want to tell you." Medicines do not fall under the same regulations that foods do in terms of labeling. Hence, a lot of "secret ingredients."

Here's where I was smacked.

Guess what's used as a common fermentation medium? Peanut meal.

You'll also find peanut oil, soy oil, egg protein, and sesame oil. All foods that are high on the list of rising food allergies in children in this country. (My oldest son suffers from allergies to peanuts and tree nuts.)

The American Association of Pediatrics recommends to avoid giving a child peanut products until he is two years of age; three if he is from a family with a history of allergies. Yet, we are injecting babies and children under two with a solution that possibly contains peanut meal. And drug companies are not required to list said peanut meal on the label.

What does the AAP have to say about that?

Holistic's bad rap

2009-03-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was reading the integrative pediatrics blog of Dr. Lawrence Rosen, who is doing incredible work in his New Jersey practice (and out there in the world) with the very focused goal of healing children. In one entry, he asks the question many have been posing in this age of Obama: "Is America ready for change?" Particularly, change as it pertains to health and wellness. And even more specifically, Dr. Rosen wonders whether we as a country are committed to, as he says, "putting our money where our mouth is" to see improvement in the area of wellness.

I wonder this, too. Among my peers and colleagues in the health and wellness field, I often use words like "transformation" and "revolution." We wonder if there is a shift towards holistic health and wellness right now that parallels the shift the green movement saw five or ten years ago. Obviously, contributing to this shift is one of Mindful Living NJ's primary missions.

But, there are days when frustration prevails.

A friend of mine, who has been so helpful with the organization of the Mindful Living Holistic Health and Wellness Fair, told me that as she was going door-to-door in Maplewood Village asking permission to hang flyers in the window, she was cut off by one particular business as soon as the word "holistic" left her lips. This particular business owner considered hanging the flyer, then asked what the flyer was for, and stopped short as soon as she heard the word "holistic."

What is THAT about?

Holistic is really such a benign word. When we look at anything holistically, we look at the item as a whole system, as opposed to dissecting and examining only its individual parts.

Holistic doesn't = quackery.

Or religion.

Or hocus pocus.

Or witchcraft. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Looking at our health holistically basically means admitting that our health is a function of mind, body, AND spirit. That's all.

Unless you are a robot, it's likely that increased stress, for instance, has a physical manifestation for you. For a medical practitioner to ignore how stress impacts your reflux and to instead prescribe a drug to hide the symptom is irresponsible, in my humble opinion.

Practicing holistic medicine should not be a quaint speciality served solely by a minority and for a minority. It should be how all medicine in this country is practiced. Likewise, alternative and complementary treatments, when prescribed by a physician, should be covered by our health insurance.

When I consider all the holistic practitioners I've met since embarking on this journey, I can't think of one person who said to me, "I chose this profession for the money." Most knew they had an innate ability to heal and chose a discipline through which to serve that purpose. Some found their way to complementary or alternative medicine after struggling with their own health issues. Many have even switched from lucrative careers to take up healing work.

Who wouldn't want to be cared for by a person like that?

Here's the catch.

You, Americans, must want change. Be open to change. To stop living your lives on auto-pilot.

Holistic may be a buzz word, but it's not a dirty word. It describes how most of us want to be viewed and treated in life. As a whole person, not just the sum of our parts.

mmm...bacon

2009-03-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

I once knew a girl named Kate who explained to me that she was a "vegetarian except bacon and hot dogs." Kate was five at the time and I was about three years into what would become a seven-year stint as a vegetarian.

I appreciated her description because it was honest in a five-year-old type of way and explained pretty much exactly the type of vegetarian I wished I could be. Bacon and hotdogs were really the only meats I missed! (There is probably some bio-chemical reason for why I craved the two saltiest, most processed meats instead of the healthier ones like chicken.)

My decision to become a vegetarian was pretty haphazard. Living in New York City, the kind of life young twenty-something girls typically do, I wanted to give my body something healthy. In my mind, cutting out meat was one way to do this. (As opposed to cutting out alcohol and cigarettes, which was just not gonna happen.)

So...poof! I was a vegetarian. And that worked for a while.

Flash-forward seven or so years later. I had gotten married, pregnant, and had a toddler son with picky eating habits. Obsessed with feeding him the "right" foods and tormented by my own psychotic idea of "well-nourished," I plunged into meal planning. Except, planning one meal for my meat-eating husband and son, and another vegetarian meal for me, was just not working out.
Meat was reintroduced.

Flash-forward to today.

Guess what's cooking in the pan right now? Mmm...can you smell it?

Bacon.

Okay, it's turkey bacon, which isn't the same, but it's still bacon.

Not only am I eating bacon again, but it was practically prescribed to me!

My acupuncturist diagnosed me with hypoglycemia, which was (duh!) so obvious after he explained it to me. Plus, after a long night of sleep with no nourishment, he said, especially after nursing in the middle of the night, my body really needed some protein first thing in the morning. In my case, taking into consideration I am not eating eggs or nuts, it would have to be meat.

Meat, meat, and more meat. I am eating meat all day long. Turkey breast at lunch time; chicken or beef at dinner.

I have become the anti-vegetarian. I am a take no prisoners carnivore!

This is not the type of diet I plan on having forever. In fact, preparing meat still really grosses me out. I wash my hands three times after touching it and grimace as I slice into chicken breast. But it's what my body needs right now. In addition to my unusual protein needs, I also have low iron. Don't worry, I am getting the iron from other sources like lentils, spinach, and potatoes, but the meat seems to really satisfy my hunger in the way wheat products used to.

As my friend, local pediatric and prenatal chiropractor Andrew Halperin said to me once, "they don't call them canine teeth for nothing."

What I'm really becoming aware of lately is that "healthy diet" does not necessarily mean "healthy for me." A peanut butter sandwich packs a great nutritional punch for some kids but would send mine to the ER. Meat is a significant source of dietary cholesterol, which is dangerous for those battling high cholesterol, but is actually a necessity for me, someone for whom high cholesterol is not an issue at all.

I invite you to take a new look at the way you eat. At how foods make you feel immediately following your meal or even hours afterward.

Foods that send you to the bathroom 10 minutes later = BAD. Even if these foods are the ones that your 5th grade health teacher taught you = GOOD.

Foods that bloat you, that give you bad gas, that make you sad or tired...RED ALERT...are probably NOT GOOD FOR YOU. Even if they fall somewhere on the right side of the food pyramid.

For now, for me, bacon = GOOD.

Choice

2009-03-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, I attended a local holistic health event at Shakti Yoga & Living Arts.

Madalina Blanton, holistic health counselor and trained Reiki practitioner, offered a workshop on "Reiki and Food." Madalina promised an introduction to the Reiki system of healing and a discussion on how food selection can increase our energy.

Anything with "food" in the title usually sparks my interest these days. Even moreso when it's combined with energy, something this sleep-deprived nursing mom always needs more of. But another reason I decided to spend my Friday night in a workshop was because of a promise I recently made to myself--I will focus more on my own practical use of holistic healing as opposed to just learning and educating others.

Madalina relayed a story to us about a period of time during which she was on a raw food diet. She laughed as she recalled how challenging it was and how it's not a diet she would like to practice currently. But she also seemed to remember that time with reverence. Living on such a restricted diet in today's society is not easy. It takes quite an amount of willpower and dedication, not to mention forethought to maintain. There is something quite empowering about choosing your food.

This weekend, I spent a little time doing work at Bonte in South Orange. (Free wireless and coffee that's good enough for me to drink black.)

I love waffles.

More than waffles, I love chocolate. Bonte makes amazing Belgian waffles with strawberries and dark chocolate. I spent two hours smelling those amazing waffles.

There was a moment when I considered getting up and moving my business to the South Orange library. But it was just a moment.

Because in that same moment I had an epiphany. What opened up for me out of remembering my choice was that I could enjoy the smell of the waffles. Just the smell.

It was the ability to choose my food (or not choose, in this case) that empowered me to stay put.

So, on the days when I feel down about the foods I can't eat (gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, sugars, nuts), I will try to rephrase it in my mind.

These are the foods I won't eat.

The Shortcut

2009-03-08T13:53:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, as I've been working on the 2nd Annual Mindful Living Holistic Health and Wellness Fair in Maplewood, NJ, friends, colleagues and strangers have been asking me how I got started planning these holistic health events in the first place.

The short answer is this: About a year and a half ago I took a self expression and leadership program through Landmark Education in which the main requirement was to execute a community project. My project became the first Mindful Living Holistic Health and Wellness Fair, which took place in January 2008. The fair was the precursor to my business, Mindful Living NJ, and was really an incredible litmus test for whether I was interested in doing anything beyond taking care of my children. As we closed the doors to the Maplewood Woman's Club at the end of that day, I knew that the health fair was just the beginning. Something had been stirred inside of me. While I had no formal training in the healing arts, I knew that the training I did have could be used to heal my community.

The long answer is this: My entire life I've suffered from those persistent illnesses that doctors weren't able to do much about -- asthma, eczema, bellyaches. (My husband warned me already about sharing too many personal details in this blog. It's unprofessional, he says, to discuss the kind of bodily functions that are better left in the bathroom. He's right. So this will be the G-rated version.)

About 12 years ago I read two books that completely changed the way I looked at my wellness. Andrew Weil's "Natural Health, Natural Medicine" and "The Yeast Connection" by Dr. William Crook. I suddenly realized the connection between my diet and lifestyle and my health. It was the proverbial lightbulb going off.

Over the years, I've tried with varying success to change my diet, eliminating trouble foods, which I originally thought were just dairy and sugar. It's only thanks to my children, and their special dietary needs, that I've really started to understand the extent to which allergy plays a role in my overall health.

No conventional doctor, no allopathic doctor has ever suggested to me that my environmental allergies, or my eczema, or my bellyaches could possibly be CAUSED by anything other than genetics. All they have ever done is try to TREAT the illness (typically with medication).

I spent many years doing my own independent research, believing in what I knew to be true despite what doctors told me. There had to be an answer. There must be a way for me to feel better that didn't involve mood-affecting, sleep-altering, headache-inducing drugs. There must be a reason for the way my body responded in this way that was other than plain bad luck.

Finally, here's the long answer I promised. I planned this holistic health and wellness fair, and I started Mindful Living NJ, to help people locate the shortcut.

I took the long way to find help. Books, websites, message boards, support groups...so much information. What if, years ago, I had found a practitioner who actually LISTENED to me? Who studied me? Who could fit the puzzle pieces together?

What if there was a shortcut?

My journey on the road to wellness is by no means over. And this blog will document some of that. I do hope, however, that others may benefit from what I have learned and what I continue to learn about:

Nutrition
Cranial Osteopathy
Bodywork
Chiropractic
Traditional Chinese Medicine
The effects of toxic household cleaning products
The effects of ingesting additives and preservatives
And lots more.

Check back again soon. I don't promise daily posts (I do have three young kids, after all, one of whom is a young infant!)

But, in the meantime, please calendar Sunday, March 22, 2009, 12 - 4pm as a holistic health and wellness fair you don't want to miss.

It's shortcut #1.